My life, O Lord, is consumed. No matter how hard I try I cannot seem to put behind me the overwhelming desires that grip me. They strangle the life from me as all that I am, and all that I hope to be is swallowed whole by the addiction that feeds on the weakness and the frailty that I cannot seem to escape no matter how hard I try. I can see, I can feel it within me, even as I try to hid it, always just beneath the surface, screaming to let lose its destruction.
It ruins me, O Lord. My relationships crumble, my heart and the hearts of those whom I love shatter. In the end, for as much as it all seems to take, as much as it seems to rip away from me, I am left with nothing but the ruin and the pain that my compulsion and obsession seems to leave as I find it so impossible to escape it.
I am Yours, Lord God, save me.
Look into my life, look into my heart and see the war that is raging within me Lord, see the battle that I face as I struggle with my addiction as it devours me whole. Give me the strength to admit that I am not strong enough to face this alone, that I ultimately need help to as I find that I am too given to my own our desires to see past them and help myself. Give me the courage to reach out to those whom You send into my life, those whom You put into the world to help me, to guide me in love and hope to a better future, one that will help me get my temptations under control.
Bind me, Lord, in Your light and Your love that I may know that, no matter how far I fall, I am still Your beloved and blessed child. Draw me near to You in that promise and guide me in Your grace to better days. Heal me Lord, that I may know Your peace as I seek to put my life back together again.
In the name of Your Son, my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, Amen.